Scratch

Nomolos wrote:

destructo-serpent wrote:

i think domo    is working on formatting the prologue.

It's Nomo,    unless you were purposely saying that. If so, 

And yes, I'm working on the prologue.

yeah, it was on purpose    but i coulnd't find a domo picture/ that would have been so much funnier.

destructo-serpent wrote:

Nomolos wrote:

Waffle27 wrote:

Or maybe a conversation that goes something like this:

Coil(to Rarse)--"Why are you so far from the nearest Siren Actually, it's a mer-people village, not Siren. village?"
Rarse--*Relates Story*
Epher--*gasps* that happened to me too! I bet it was the same Fishing vessel *Tells story*
Amaya: My mother got captured by human divers as well.
Epher: Those filthy humans! They've made so many suffer and don't give any second thoughts. It's time we got revenge.
Rarse: They captured my father. They'll pay for that.

And Rarse joins up.

+

destructo-serpent wrote:

Nomolos wrote:

How about they ask Rarse why he's alone, and he tells them (with plenty of bitterness) that humans attacked his village. Then they ask him.    (Eight)

                                                       
the conversation here,
while Coil, who doesn't care much for sappy moments, goes whale hunting?

                                                      

=

perfect!

Last edited by destructo-serpent (2013-03-21 13:00:38)

Waffle27 wrote:

OK, so should I um...combine that by doing "Why are you alone?"
Instead?

probably

“Why are you alone?” Coil asked the merman. “It is far from the nearest mer-people village.”
Rarse hung his head, in pain from memories. He told his story.
Epher gasped, horrified when he had finished. “That is the same thing that happened to me!” he said. “I bet it was the same Fishing Vessel.
“Human Divers captured my mother.” Amaya whispered.
“Those filthy humans! They've made so many suffer and don't give any second thoughts. It's time we got revenge.” Epher said, a sudden wave of resentment flowing over him.
“They captured my father. They'll pay for that.” Snarled Rarse.


Two things.
1)I didn't know if Rarse was asking to join up or what so I havent written that yet.
2)It sucks. Maybe someone else should write it.

Yay:
Prologue

The sun was shining outside the window when Rarse awoke. He swam out of his clam shell groggily, not fully comprehending what was going on around him. He rubbed his eyes and opened them again, and gasped with horror as he looked above.
     A dark shape slid across the surface of the water far above. Mer-people were fleeing The city, and families hid in their sea kelp houses. Rarse watched in awed fascination as web like shapes fell from the craft. He was pulled to the side as one fell over him, and he turned to see his father, Grupt.
     "Don't touch the nets!" he commanded before swimming quickly away. Rarse looked to the side and saw one of the nets fold around a mermaid, she screamed and tried to escape, but to no avail. More fell everywhere, and black ooze drifted from the giant shape.
     Another net fell close to Rarse, and he bravely swam under it, ready to face the enemy. But the ropes caught his tail, him arms, his head. He struggled, but it grew tighter. Throwing punches, he tried to weave his way out but to know avail. Yells echoed around him, a flash of silver, and the net fell apart. There was his father again, holding a knife. Rarse recognized it as the one made from the shell of a clam, Grupt had spent hours sharpening the knife, grinding it against the stones to perfection.
     "Go!" he yelled, and as Rarse shot away, a net covered Grupt's body also. He tried to cut the ropes with his knife, but it fell from his hand and floated away as the net began rising to the surface.
     Rarse swam in circles, destruction all around him. He didn't know which way to go, which way to turn. "Run!" Grupt was still fighting the net, but it began floating upward faster and faster, pulled by a taut rope.
     "Get to the stone arch near the walls of the city! Get out before they have you!"
And then he was gone. Too near the surface for Rarse to hear his frantic commands any longer. Too near the surface for Rarse to ever see him again.
     Crying all around him, thick black liquid flooding the streets, Rarse swam through the city as fast as he could, dodging the spidery nets landing on houses and mer-people. Reaching the city gate, he looked back one more time, this was his home, where he'd lived with his father for years since his mother died. He couldn't leave the place he'd known as a child. It all seemed so abrupt and unexpected, and Rarse stayed floating on the spot. But his father's last words echoed in his mind, and he turned and swam off toward the stone arch into the vastness of the ocean without looking back.

                                                        ஜஜஜ

Seaserpentine Maximus the Third was training. As the prince of a kingdom, a kingdom of warrior sea serpents, he was required to train for long hours so he could protect his kingdom should the need arise.
     Seaserpentine had glimmering scales and three-foot horns bending so they ran parallel to his back. A short dorsal fin rang down his back. His eyes were orange and shone like small suns. He was forty feet long, so if he swam in a circle, a whirlpool would form, big enough to swallow a small human vessel.
     The royal family of serpents had a private training yard, in which he was now. He whirled around, his blue-green scales flashed in the dappled sunlight that reached the shallow sea bottom.
     Seaserpentine headed straight at a pillar of bright red coral, at the last second altered his trajectory and corkscrewed so the spikes down the top of his neck sliced through the sharp, hard coral.
     Then he whirled around, and slammed another pillar of coral to pieces with the weight of his tail. Seaserpentine used his jaws to pick up boulders that lay on the seabed and crushed them between his sword-like teeth.
     After training for what seemed like decades, but really only for a few hours, Seaserpentine stopped and drifted lazily in the circular currents of the training yard. He was very tired after training so vigorously.
     Seaserpentine also knew that if his brother, Spear, caught him resting; he would come up with some excuse to steal the throne from him. Their father had died scarcely three days ago, and the kingdom was in hushed silence, waiting for the coronation that, by tradition, must be held five days after a king’s death. He, eldest son of the king, would receive the throne. But Spear could not accept that, and was doing everything in his power to get to the throne.
     Seasepentine was about to resume training, but was stopped by a wizened old serpent with glimmering red scales and graying horns that swam like a sailfish towards him.
“Coil!” he was calling.”
     Something must be wrong, Maximus thought. To address the prince as his birth name was a huge breach in etiquette, only acceptable if a matter of great importance was at hand.
     Then Coil recognized the serpent. It was his royal advisor, Judicious. Serpent mothers often named their hatchlings after their qualities. Judicious had finally reached Coil, and seemed about to speak. “What is it, Judicious? What’s wrong?” Coil asked him.
     “It’s Spear!” Judicious warned him. “Spear is accusing you of murder! You must flee the kingdom now, or you’ll be killed!” 




                                                        ஜஜஜ

The new mother gazed down at her filly. She was floating near her mother's tail, sleeping peacefully. The mother sighed. Little Amaya's father had disappeared after she announced that they would soon be parents. This made her life extremely difficult, as avoiding humans while carrying around a large pearl egg in hooves is not an easy task. 

     
Most Hippocampi would create a nest, and leave their egg there until it hatched. The problem with this family is that they were far out into sea, and baby Hippocampi need to hatch in warm, shallow water.


     At least Amaya was safe. Her dark brown fur melded into brown scales, which turned to an iridescent blue, and finally, to white. Her tail fin was a blinding white, with silver stripes. This worried the mother, as white attracted the eye, and Amaya needed to be able to hide. 


     The dreaded humans hunted Cryptids… If they caught her... Who knows what they would do. 


     As if to answer this question, the sound of divers swimming through the water caught her attention. The mother awoke Amaya, "Amaya, Amaya, go, quickly, through the escape! Don't come back, they'll catch you. Find other Cryptids!"


     Amaya's eyes opened wide, showing confusion and fear. The mother nuzzled her child, and gently said, "I will always love you. This means you must go, the humans are coming here. Hurry!"



                                                        ஜஜஜ

Foul black water filled the salty sea of Bual, tainting the usual sweet scent of Epher’s home with an unnatural smell. Hovering above the village, a great metal whale, with thin flippers, danced above his head. It was bleeding the opaque fluid.
    “Don’t gaze at it too long,” warned Moria, Epher’s mother. “Dozens of rare Selkie villages have been destroyed by its reeking blood.  I don’t intend Bual to be one of those villages.”
    “Its flippers,” Epher whispered, entranced. “The whale’s flippers have so many gaping holes. What happened to it to make it so mortally wounded?”
    Moria let out an ironic barking laugh. “Whale! No, no, this is another breed, called a Ship. I believe this particular animal is a ‘Fishing Vessel’. Cruel humans force them to catch us in their flippers, or choke us with their blood-specifically called ‘Oil’.”
    “How do you know so much about humans?” asked Epher curiously.
    “I have been up to the human world. It is cruel there, so very cruel.” Moria shuddered. “Collect your father, Epher, and your sister. We shall break out of this village before it breaks us.” Epher nodded, deciding not to question his mother’s orders.
    “Father!” he cried. “Sister!” Sleek, frightened bodies pushed past his as he tried to make his way upstream, to the last place he had seen his father and sister. Stinky “Oil” filled his nostrils, threatening to drown him in his own element. Why didn’t he just give up? Run away? “That’s not what families do,” he muttered through gritted teeth. “I can’t give up. How could I survive without my family there to support me?”
    Empty, black water greeted him when he reached the other side of the mass of bodies. Crying out, Epher searched the sea floor rapidly. Where—where was his family? He wasn’t going to leave without them.
     Then, out of the corner of his vision, Epher spotted two motionless shapes. “Oh, Great Neptune, no!” he wailed, swimming over to the bodies. The sight confirmed his fears. Epher’s father and sister were dead.
“Moria!” Epher cried. “Mother, where are you?” The black blood was shrouding his vision. Catching a glimpse of a retreating tail ahead, Epher quickly followed, coughing, eyes watering.
     Stumbling as he did so, Epher gasped for fresh, clean, saltwater. There was none. Every corner was filled with the putrid liquid. There was nowhere to turn, no way to escape the masses and masses of oil.
And then he was captured.

                                                        ஜஜஜ

The little filly seemed to understand her mother was protecting her from danger, no matter how heartbreaking it was for both of them. Amaya swam towards the small hole in the cave wall, the opposite direction of the humans. She wriggled through the hole, and broke free into the sea. 


     Above her she could see the night sky. She continued further into the sea, keeping her mother’s word in her head.
"Escape. Don't come back. Find other Cryptids. I will always love you."


     Amaya swam through the waters for what seemed like hours. She used her tail find most of the time, and used her hooves for changing direction. 


Hours grew into days, days to weeks, weeks to months. She had been relying on the sympathy of ocean life to eat and find temporary shelter from predators. It had been three years since her mother's capture, since her life turned into chaos and... And a mess. Three years was a long time for a hippocampus, in fact, she would be considered an adult. Amaya kept moving on though, she had to find others.
     Eventually, the Cryptid felt the water grow colder then ever before, yet, she seemed safer. She tentatively edged forward, and suddenly felt herself sucked into a strong, warm current. She tried to fight the raging water, but she crashed into a large red and grey stone, and blacked out.


     Amaya opened her eyes, slowly, and looked around. Everything was... Distorted. Blurry. Slowly everything became clearer. Suddenly, she blinked, she had to be dreaming.

 Less than five minutes swimming away, were other Cryptids.

                                                        ஜஜஜ

     “Will you be okay, Judicious?”
     “I’ll be fine. Now go! They’re coming!!”
Ten sea serpents practically flew towards him, but they were far enough away that Coil could escape if he went now. He quickly turned and swam away. The guards followed, trying to catch him, but Coil had trained in the royal yard since he was a hatchling, and his tail muscles were incredibly strong.
     Coil shot forward like an arrow, the knowledge of what would happen if he stopped his bow. But the guards were fast too. They couldn’t gain on him, but they maintained their distance, and waited for him to tire.
     And then Coil saw it. The Fields of Asphodel, which were a huge giant kelp forest, which stretched for miles along the shallow seabed of the reef. They were known to have many shallow caves hidden by the kelp, some of them big enough for even a large sea serpent. They were the perfect hiding place.
     Coil quickly altered course and headed straight into the Fields. The flowing green kelp engulfed him. He couldn’t see, couldn’t hear, and couldn’t detect any trace of heat with the organs in his snout. He was lost in the kelp. After he drifted for a moment, his head cleared.
     Coil swam around near the seabed until he found a suitable hole. Then he slithered in, curled into a spiral, and slept. 

     When Coil awoke, there was no serpent guard dragging him away. He sighed in relief, knowing that they had gone. He swam out of the Fields of Asphodel, somewhat drowsily, and decided to get food, for he had not eaten for a long time. He hunted and caught a whale, and after eating it, set out, away from the kingdom. For days he did this. Then, once, while he sheltering in a kelp bed, eating his catch, he saw a selkie.

                                                        ஜஜஜ

Crystal’s life revolved around one song.
Once he hears to his heart's content, sails on, a wiser man.
We know all the pains that the Greeks and Trojans once endured
on the spreading plain of Troy when the gods willed it so—
all that comes to pass on the fertile earth, we know it all!
     However, this was not the way sirens were originally taught. Crystal was the only one who knew this. Apart from the sironment who had cleared the sirens memories for knowing they were being controlled. Perhaps this was where she inherited her callousness. The sironment would arrive at her shell tomorrow. She had no idea how they found out the fact that she knew that sirens were being tricked. They were to wipe out her memory.
     “Not this time” she thought “I’ll leave my shell before they can lay one finger on me.”
After her quick fish-soul dinner, she quickly packed up a set of seaweed clothes, her wing shields (with various weapons hidden inside), a jar of fish souls (she hated the things) and a mysterious object that her ancestors had passed down a long time ago. It was a crystal shell, and she did not know why she was taking it with her.
     “Maybe it will be of some use.” she exclaimed.
Quietly she walked out of her shell, as she heard the singing of the sleeping sirens. In the distance, she thought she heard a bush rustle. She slowly pulled her sword from her wing. Sure enough, her eyes saw what she had feared they would. The sironment.

                                                        ஜஜஜ

An invisible foe was clutching him in a strong, firm grip. “Let go of me!” he cried, recognizing his capturer as the Fishing Vessel’s fin.
     Already, his head was becoming less furry, more human, and unable to take the pressure of the water as the fin brought him closer to the surface. Thrashing wildly in his hopes to escape, Epher didn’t notice as oil leaked into his eyes, his mouth, his nostrils, choking him discreetly in his determination to escape. Air bubbles leaked from his nostrils, almost human eyes rolled back in his head. “Help…Help me,” he whispered. As he spoke, more of the Oil rushed into his mouth, running down the back of his throat, causing it to burn.
    Suddenly, a familiar chestnut brown body was knocking against the side of the net, squirming through the hole, making it just big enough for her pup to fit through. Epher tried to get into a position where he could fit easily through, but was cramped by the fallen bodies of his fellow villagers. “Mom!” he cried.
    Epher struggled in the fin, and watched as Moria dived through the hole, into the netting. Her sleek body fit through the hole perfectly. Positioning herself behind Epher, she began to shove him towards the hole. “Get out!” she said. “If the humans catch you, they will kill you!”
    Breaking free of the flipper, Epher turned to help his mother. It was too late. The fin was already out of the water. “Moria!” he screamed, tears cascading down his cheeks.
    “Be strong, young one,” Moria called.  “Break free and survive! Always remember Bual’s fate!” And with those words, Epher’s mother was gone

                                                        ஜஜஜ

     What are they doing here? Crystal thought; her heart racing. “Calm down Crystal, you’ve dealt with these fish brains before.”
     “We know you are there crystal. It’s a shame for you that we can wipe your memory right here and now.” One of the sirens said hastily.
     “You seal skeleton! Don’t you realise what you’re in for? You’re trying to fight the winner of all the siren tournaments over a misunderstanding? You crab! I’ll kill you now!” Crystal declared, and with one wipe, the siren’s head was clean of her shoulders and on the ground. “Hah! Teaches a now-it-all fish brain to mess with me!”
But to her surprise there were more of them. She slashed her sword at them killed groups of them off but still more came. She was starting to feel sick. They slashed their claws at her, they obviously weren’t going to erase her memories, but kill her.
She kept fighting, till they threw her into the black water. Exhausted from the endless battle, she sank, until she was engulfed in the weeds.
     When she awoke, she was no longer in the ocean, but rather, lying in sand. in the middle of nowhere. As she looked around, she discovered she was not alone.

Done! Formatted, edited, and stuff like that! There are probably some stuff I might of missed, so if you see that please fix it or point it out.

Last edited by Nomolos (2013-03-21 13:15:03)

Good job Nomolos looks good to me!

Also nice divider things. Theyre cool.

Last edited by Waffle27 (2013-03-21 13:16:14)

how does anything cry underwater?

Well, they can cry, but it probably wouldn't be noticeable. If that was me and it bugs you, you can change it.

ShadowOfArt wrote:

Wait a second, Crystal has wings? o3o

Oh, lol, duh she has wings. xD She's a siren

“Why are you alone?” Coil asked the merman. “The nearest mer-people village is that way, and it seems you were traveling the opposite direction.” He eyed Rarse suspiciously.
Rarse hung his head, the recent memories painfully returning. "Humans," he murmured, and told his story.
     Epher gasped, horrified when he had finished. “That's the same thing that happened to me!” he said. “I bet it was the same Fishing Vessel."
     “Human Divers captured my mother.” Amaya whispered, and looked down to the sandy floor.
     “Those filthy humans! They've made so many suffer and don't give any second thoughts.” Epher said, a sudden wave of resentment flowing over him. "I think it's time they got what they deserved."
     “They captured my father. They'll pay for that,” snarled Rarse angrily, and looked back toward his village with renewed hate and grief, silently cursing the humans that had attacked.
Epher looked at Rarse in the eye, and a set look of determination appeared on his face. he held out a fin.
     "Join us, and together we can destroy this abominable race."
Rarse decided nearly instantly and took the fin shaking it twice. "I'm with you all the way."

Waffle27 wrote:

Good job Nomolos looks good to me!

Also nice divider things. Theyre cool.

Thanks! I looked up Text Symbols and found them. 

Nomolos wrote:

“Why are you alone?” Coil asked the merman. “The nearest mer-people village is that way, and it seems you were traveling the opposite direction.” He eyed Rarse suspiciously.
Rarse hung his head, the recent memories painfully returning. "Humans," he murmured, and told his story.
     Epher gasped, horrified when he had finished. “That's the same thing that happened to me!” he said. “I bet it was the same Fishing Vessel."
     “Human Divers captured my mother.” Amaya whispered, and looked down to the sandy floor.
     “Those filthy humans! They've made so many suffer and don't give any second thoughts.” Epher said, a sudden wave of resentment flowing over him. "I think it's time they got what they deserved."
     “They captured my father. They'll pay for that,” snarled Rarse angrily, and looked back toward his village with renewed hate and grief, silently cursing the humans that had attacked.
Epher looked at Rarse in the eye, and a set look of determination appeared on his face. he held out a fin.
     "Join us, and together we can destroy this abominable race."
Rarse decided nearly instantly and took the fin shaking it twice. "I'm with you all the way."

Much better than mine. I put mine together, in like 1 minute literally.

destructo-serpent wrote:

Waffle27 wrote:

Well, they can cry, but it probably wouldn't be noticeable. If that was me and it bugs you, you can change it.

doesn't bug me. it just seems weird. 
i like it.

Maybe they cry salt crystals that dissolves nearly instantly. O_o

950th post on this topic! 

Last edited by Nomolos (2013-03-21 13:27:40)