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#176 2013-04-16 01:07:19

Waffle27
Scratcher
Registered: 2012-03-21
Posts: 1000+

Re: Write to DEATH - A challenging competition for avid writers

3, 500 words so far! Only about 1/4 left to go. There are two plots going at once. I just need to tie them together, have the escape, then the big battle scene, then the ending. Its going to be a bit of a loose end.  sad  Oh, well. I hope you guys will like it anyway.

EDIT: 3, 752 words yay

Last edited by Waffle27 (2013-04-16 01:18:44)

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#177 2013-04-16 17:38:50

Agg725
Scratcher
Registered: 2012-03-13
Posts: 500+

Re: Write to DEATH - A challenging competition for avid writers

I'm dropping out of the contest since I have to juggle schoolwork, and writing a different book. Good luck to everyone in the competition!


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#178 2013-04-16 17:42:03

Nomolos
Scratcher
Registered: 2011-07-29
Posts: 1000+

Re: Write to DEATH - A challenging competition for avid writers

Agg725 wrote:

I'm dropping out of the contest since I have to juggle schoolwork, and writing a different book. Good luck to everyone in the competition!

Ok! Good luck in school!


Goodbye 1.4. I'll always remember you and treasure your awesomeness in my heart.
RIP 1.4: 2007-2013 *Sniffles* *Sobs* *Bursts into tears*

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#179 2013-04-16 17:59:09

pinnipediator
Scratcher
Registered: 2012-02-10
Posts: 500+

Re: Write to DEATH - A challenging competition for avid writers

Oh I got rid of a few characters.
How is this competitions opinion lying on mild swear words and mildly suggestive themes?
As in b100dy etc, and, well, mildly suggestive themes. Not suggesting things and stuff, just mildly suggesting mild things that still count as suggestive themes.
My entry is finished and I hope no one minds if I just dump it in a really long post here. I wrote it on my iPod so I could copy/ paste it really quickly and easily once i finished.
No one minds any of the things mentioned here do they?

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#180 2013-04-16 18:27:27

Nomolos
Scratcher
Registered: 2011-07-29
Posts: 1000+

Re: Write to DEATH - A challenging competition for avid writers

pinnipediator wrote:

Oh I got rid of a few characters.
How is this competitions opinion lying on mild swear words and mildly suggestive themes?
As in b100dy etc, and, well, mildly suggestive themes. Not suggesting things and stuff, just mildly suggesting mild things that still count as suggestive themes.
My entry is finished and I hope no one minds if I just dump it in a really long post here. I wrote it on my iPod so I could copy/ paste it really quickly and easily once i finished.
No one minds any of the things mentioned here do they?

Hmm. Bloody is fine, just not outright ugly gore. But I don't think the swear words should be allowed in the contest.

Lund? What do you think?


Goodbye 1.4. I'll always remember you and treasure your awesomeness in my heart.
RIP 1.4: 2007-2013 *Sniffles* *Sobs* *Bursts into tears*

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#181 2013-04-16 21:19:38

lundfamily3
Scratcher
Registered: 2011-09-08
Posts: 500+

Re: Write to DEATH - A challenging competition for avid writers

Nomolos wrote:

pinnipediator wrote:

Oh I got rid of a few characters.
How is this competitions opinion lying on mild swear words and mildly suggestive themes?
As in b100dy etc, and, well, mildly suggestive themes. Not suggesting things and stuff, just mildly suggesting mild things that still count as suggestive themes.
My entry is finished and I hope no one minds if I just dump it in a really long post here. I wrote it on my iPod so I could copy/ paste it really quickly and easily once i finished.
No one minds any of the things mentioned here do they?

Hmm. Bloody is fine, just not outright ugly gore. But I don't think the swear words should be allowed in the contest.

Lund? What do you think?

I agree. No swearing or extreme gore. O,O


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#182 2013-04-16 23:22:41

Nomolos
Scratcher
Registered: 2011-07-29
Posts: 1000+

Re: Write to DEATH - A challenging competition for avid writers

lundfamily3 wrote:

Nomolos wrote:

pinnipediator wrote:

Oh I got rid of a few characters.
How is this competitions opinion lying on mild swear words and mildly suggestive themes?
As in b100dy etc, and, well, mildly suggestive themes. Not suggesting things and stuff, just mildly suggesting mild things that still count as suggestive themes.
My entry is finished and I hope no one minds if I just dump it in a really long post here. I wrote it on my iPod so I could copy/ paste it really quickly and easily once i finished.
No one minds any of the things mentioned here do they?

Hmm. Bloody is fine, just not outright ugly gore. But I don't think the swear words should be allowed in the contest.

Lund? What do you think?

I agree. No swearing or extreme gore. O,O

Alright then. No swearing.


Goodbye 1.4. I'll always remember you and treasure your awesomeness in my heart.
RIP 1.4: 2007-2013 *Sniffles* *Sobs* *Bursts into tears*

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#183 2013-04-17 04:25:09

jji10
Scratcher
Registered: 2010-06-18
Posts: 100+

Re: Write to DEATH - A challenging competition for avid writers

My story for round 3  smile  It is a to be continued chapter

Name of the book: Predator

Chapter 1 Deadly Winter

It was the beginning of winter. Every animal and living thing and taken shelter in some place or another. In the Wolf Clan however, things were not looking bright... 'We need reinforcements!' shouted Erk the leader of the Wolves. They had lost over 200 wolves in the war against the Fox Clan and they had lost the huge battle and surrendered 2 kilometres of land to the Fox Clan. They now only had a population of 40 instead of the original 450. 'We must make allies to either the Monkey Clan or the Tiger Clan. The rest are our enemies!' said  Dinlet the wisest member of the Clan. There were 6 clans. The Tiger Clan, the Fox Clan, the Monkey Clan, the Lion Clan, the Hyena Clan and of course the Wolf Clan. 'We can't afford any mistakes or we'll lose the rest of the clan and our own lives and the Wolf Clan will be history.' said Erk. 'But I think we have 1 hope.' continued Erk, 'We must make allies with the Tiger Clan immediately.' However when the Tiger Clan leader called Hether and he was planning a deadly betrayal.
He was surprised at such an opportunity so early and so deadly. He told the messenger to say he agreed and that they would war against the Foxes soon, but he allied with the Foxes secretly and told them his plan.  At the battlefield it was 200 wolves vs 190 Foxes. There were also 10 Tigers. It was very fierce and when the Wolves realised the Tigers had betrayed, they were even more fierce and they eventually won the war and took back the stolen lands. Meanwhile, in the Monkey Clan, they wanted to ally the Wolves because Hyena Clan were planning to war against them. The Wolves heartily agreed.

(End of chapter)


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#184 2013-04-17 08:06:01

mintfang
Scratcher
Registered: 2012-05-26
Posts: 500+

Re: Write to DEATH - A challenging competition for avid writers

Nomo, is it okay if I submit my entry possibly a few days late? I'm having some horrible family problems. Although I'm trying to channel my negative energy into my book, I'm only managing a few paragraphs a day.


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#185 2013-04-17 11:00:31

lundfamily3
Scratcher
Registered: 2011-09-08
Posts: 500+

Re: Write to DEATH - A challenging competition for avid writers

jji10 wrote:

My story for round 3  smile  It is a to be continued chapter

Name of the book: Predator

Chapter 1 Deadly Winter

It was the beginning of winter. Every animal and living thing and taken shelter in some place or another. In the Wolf Clan however, things were not looking bright... 'We need reinforcements!' shouted Erk the leader of the Wolves. They had lost over 200 wolves in the war against the Fox Clan and they had lost the huge battle and surrendered 2 kilometres of land to the Fox Clan. They now only had a population of 40 instead of the original 450. 'We must make allies to either the Monkey Clan or the Tiger Clan. The rest are our enemies!' said  Dinlet the wisest member of the Clan. There were 6 clans. The Tiger Clan, the Fox Clan, the Monkey Clan, the Lion Clan, the Hyena Clan and of course the Wolf Clan. 'We can't afford any mistakes or we'll lose the rest of the clan and our own lives and the Wolf Clan will be history.' said Erk. 'But I think we have 1 hope.' continued Erk, 'We must make allies with the Tiger Clan immediately.' However when the Tiger Clan leader called Hether and he was planning a deadly betrayal.
He was surprised at such an opportunity so early and so deadly. He told the messenger to say he agreed and that they would war against the Foxes soon, but he allied with the Foxes secretly and told them his plan.  At the battlefield it was 200 wolves vs 190 Foxes. There were also 10 Tigers. It was very fierce and when the Wolves realised the Tigers had betrayed, they were even more fierce and they eventually won the war and took back the stolen lands. Meanwhile, in the Monkey Clan, they wanted to ally the Wolves because Hyena Clan were planning to war against them. The Wolves heartily agreed.

(End of chapter)

You are not allowed to start writing if your in round three. You may create your plot, but no writing.  hmm


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#186 2013-04-17 11:01:05

Nomolos
Scratcher
Registered: 2011-07-29
Posts: 1000+

Re: Write to DEATH - A challenging competition for avid writers

mintfang wrote:

Nomo, is it okay if I submit my entry possibly a few days late? I'm having some horrible family problems. Although I'm trying to channel my negative energy into my book, I'm only managing a few paragraphs a day.

Submit part of your entry, and we'll judge on that. If you submit the other part late however, that part will be disqualified. You have six days left! Just try your best, and we'll see what happens!


Goodbye 1.4. I'll always remember you and treasure your awesomeness in my heart.
RIP 1.4: 2007-2013 *Sniffles* *Sobs* *Bursts into tears*

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#187 2013-04-17 11:02:16

Nomolos
Scratcher
Registered: 2011-07-29
Posts: 1000+

Re: Write to DEATH - A challenging competition for avid writers

jji10 wrote:

My story for round 3  smile  It is a to be continued chapter

Name of the book: Predator

Chapter 1 Deadly Winter

It was the beginning of winter. Every animal and living thing and taken shelter in some place or another. In the Wolf Clan however, things were not looking bright... 'We need reinforcements!' shouted Erk the leader of the Wolves. They had lost over 200 wolves in the war against the Fox Clan and they had lost the huge battle and surrendered 2 kilometres of land to the Fox Clan. They now only had a population of 40 instead of the original 450. 'We must make allies to either the Monkey Clan or the Tiger Clan. The rest are our enemies!' said  Dinlet the wisest member of the Clan. There were 6 clans. The Tiger Clan, the Fox Clan, the Monkey Clan, the Lion Clan, the Hyena Clan and of course the Wolf Clan. 'We can't afford any mistakes or we'll lose the rest of the clan and our own lives and the Wolf Clan will be history.' said Erk. 'But I think we have 1 hope.' continued Erk, 'We must make allies with the Tiger Clan immediately.' However when the Tiger Clan leader called Hether and he was planning a deadly betrayal.
He was surprised at such an opportunity so early and so deadly. He told the messenger to say he agreed and that they would war against the Foxes soon, but he allied with the Foxes secretly and told them his plan.  At the battlefield it was 200 wolves vs 190 Foxes. There were also 10 Tigers. It was very fierce and when the Wolves realised the Tigers had betrayed, they were even more fierce and they eventually won the war and took back the stolen lands. Meanwhile, in the Monkey Clan, they wanted to ally the Wolves because Hyena Clan were planning to war against them. The Wolves heartily agreed.

(End of chapter)

Round 3 hasn't started yet.  tongue  You're not allowed to work on your story until it starts, much less submit it. It starts in six days though.

Read the rules next time please.

Last edited by Nomolos (2013-04-17 11:02:23)


Goodbye 1.4. I'll always remember you and treasure your awesomeness in my heart.
RIP 1.4: 2007-2013 *Sniffles* *Sobs* *Bursts into tears*

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#188 2013-04-17 12:49:47

mintfang
Scratcher
Registered: 2012-05-26
Posts: 500+

Re: Write to DEATH - A challenging competition for avid writers

Nomolos wrote:

mintfang wrote:

Nomo, is it okay if I submit my entry possibly a few days late? I'm having some horrible family problems. Although I'm trying to channel my negative energy into my book, I'm only managing a few paragraphs a day.

Submit part of your entry, and we'll judge on that. If you submit the other part late however, that part will be disqualified. You have six days left! Just try your best, and we'll see what happens!

Oh wait, never mind! I've been working on it all day and I might have it done by next week, definitely in time for round two.


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#189 2013-04-17 12:50:19

Nomolos
Scratcher
Registered: 2011-07-29
Posts: 1000+

Re: Write to DEATH - A challenging competition for avid writers

mintfang wrote:

Nomolos wrote:

mintfang wrote:

Nomo, is it okay if I submit my entry possibly a few days late? I'm having some horrible family problems. Although I'm trying to channel my negative energy into my book, I'm only managing a few paragraphs a day.

Submit part of your entry, and we'll judge on that. If you submit the other part late however, that part will be disqualified. You have six days left! Just try your best, and we'll see what happens!

Oh wait, never mind! I've been working on it all day and I might have it done by next week, definitely in time for round two.

Alright!


Goodbye 1.4. I'll always remember you and treasure your awesomeness in my heart.
RIP 1.4: 2007-2013 *Sniffles* *Sobs* *Bursts into tears*

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#190 2013-04-17 17:09:54

pinnipediator
Scratcher
Registered: 2012-02-10
Posts: 500+

Re: Write to DEATH - A challenging competition for avid writers

Hey Mint I just read the extract on the first page. Is there away I can read more of that story, more things with harry? I've only just read it.
But now I want more.
Is there any more around anywhere? That's online and easy to read?
I'd love it if there was. Don't go putting stuff online on for me, I just want to know if there's any more.  smile

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#191 2013-04-18 17:29:15

pinnipediator
Scratcher
Registered: 2012-02-10
Posts: 500+

Re: Write to DEATH - A challenging competition for avid writers

Here at not much of a long last is my entry. No idea how ell this fares for length or whether it's too rude or not.
See what you think, I'll cross my fingers and hope for the best.

Space: A small neighbourhood really


Space is big. 
Everyone knows that. 
Even Unevolved single-cell organisms know that you aren't alone in space. You aren't alone as a species. You aren't alone as a galaxy. 
You aren't alone when you feel like everyone hates you and there's nowhere to turn. 
In a tiny, unattractive galaxy, a spiral one, that looked like a spilt glass of milk, there were actually two races that didn't know that they weren't alone. Or at least, they assumed that any other life out there was too far away to care about, when actually, their closest neighbours were only 2billion light years away at any one time. 
Both of those races, through sheer coincidence, had started to develop wormhole projecting technology, allowing the user to project a wormhole to any part of anywhere (with enough power) and send anything through it only for them to arrive five seconds later for every billion light years they were going. 
Both of the races were at the same average level in technology, and both races had, through sheer coincidence, made identical wormhole projectors. 

 
The testing of these wormholes had thrown up energy spikes on the other's instruments, so for first tests, the two races, the humans and the genonians had decided to, unknowingly, send their first living tests to the other's planets, exactly where their wormhole 'gates' were located. 
The first tests had been robot probes. The robots had effectively taken footage of planets up to eight billion light years away, their own local moons, and further, outside their own tiny supercluster of galaxies and beyond the blank voids that lay between, to desolate lands that, when compared to your the inside of your average sports teacher's skull, had a lot in common. 
The humans were sending six people to the genonian world at exactly the same time that the genonians were sending a team to earth. 
The human commander, colonel James o'brian looked at the swirling portal before him. 
The year was 5742 His pack was around his back. They were to go in peace, but they had weapons with them just in case. 
He had only known his team a few days. 
Him, Thomas carter, Layla Grants and Karen Blake. 
He would be first to step through the portal. It would take him ten seconds to get there, almost exactly. They would find the air breathable for exactly 47 hours. They were to get some rock samples, describe the sensations of the wormhole, and then go back. 
James put his foot into the portal. It was cold. It felt like all the particles in existamce warmer than 0 degrees kelvin had migrated to Antarctica because it was warmer there. 
  
He Had been told to breath out before going through, otherwise the air would have frozen in his lungs and possibly killed him. He breathed out, started his stopwatch, and walked through. 
Five seconds later, he crashed into a lizard-man coming the other way. 

Five seconds earlier, haardgarth was standing in front of a wormhole. He was to be the first genonian through a wormhole ever. 
His team was queing up behind him. 
Cortaan, andunas, rruedan.  
They had three days on the planet they were going to. 
Haardgarth breathed out and stepped through. It was like dry ice, or liquid nitrogen. It was the coldest thing he had ever felt. 
 
5 seconds later, he crashed into a two legged monkey man coming the other way. 

James prized himself off of the floor. His foot was stuck. 
He pulled the giant lizard off of his back and got up to look around. 
Wait, giant lizard? 
James whipped around. The lizard was rubbing its head and grunting.     
He looked around for his team. 
There were three more giant lizards. 
Some of his team were on top of the lizards. Some of his team were on top of them.  
The sight resembled a detailed diagram of the products of a really bad nosebleed. The humans were wearing red, and the lizards had green scales, and the two races had been creamed into each other very very hard. 

Hardgaarth groaned and nursed his head. 
A two legged ape-mammal thingy was standing over him, looking terrified. 
Monday. It had to be. 
The ape was delving it's five-split paw into a textile based container. 
It pulled something out. 
A gun. 
A GUN??? 
Hardgaarth stood up fast. He reached into his mouth. 
A retching noise filled their landing site. 
He drew out a gun and wiped off the blue saliva. 
The ape looked disgusted. 
Haardgarth shrugged.
 "what?" he asked. 
The ape looked confused. It was obviously a sentient creature. He wondered if it spoke a language. 
James looked at the gun the lizard had just thrown up. 
It obviously had some form of civilisation. 
"do you speak English?" he asked, speaking loudly and slowly. 
The lizard looked confused. 
Language. Hmf. 
The lizard made some noises. 
James shook his head and shrugged, graphically. 
The lizard made the noises again. 
That was good. It probably understood what shaking your head meant. It also meant it had a language. 
Layla came up beside him. She drew a picture of the wormhole projector on the floor with a rock. 
The ground was rocky, and barren. They obviously weren't where they were meant to be. Images had show that it had an atmosphere and a few plants. 
James took on layla's Idea and showed the lizard(s, the others had come over to look) the return home device, that broadcasted a signal that automatically brought the wormhole back to them and sucked up anything with that signal. 
Hardgaarth was confused. Rruedan pointed exitedly at the device that the ape in charge was holding. A returner. 
The apes had come through a wormhole too! Haardgarth got out his returner. The apes looked at it. The two were almost identical, just haardgarth's was a triangle and was made of kevlar. The ape's one was round and metal. 
Visually, they were nothing like each other, but rruedan looked excited anyway.  
Haardgarth got out his mission breifing. 
The apes recoiled as he wiped off the saliva. 
Cortaan looked insulted, and picked up an ape container. It was a textile fabric, very strong and durable. 
Cortaan put it in his mouth. 
James looked in awe as Thomas' rucksack hoovered into the lizard's mouth. Thomas wasn't too happy though. 
Cortaan retched. 
A splash of blue saliva and the textile container splayed out on the ground. That looked more like what you got when you stuck a leaky blue inkpen up your nose to retrieve some bits of pencil lead that you stuck up there in a failed attempt to counteract the boredom of a maths lesson.  
James had an idea. He drew a picture of the two planets that the two races had come from. Then he drew a little one in the middle. He drew twelve figures. He looked up at the lizards. They looked like they understood so far. 
He circled all of them and drew an arrow back to the one that looked like earth. 
The lizards starting talking among themselves. 
Haardgarth looked to his team. 
"is it asking if it wants us to come with it?" 
"I don't think that matters right now general!" said cortaan. "they've just passed out!" 
Haardgarth looked up. 
The apes had randomely fallen unconscious! 
"it must be the atmosphere here-they were prepared for sunny Genonian atmosphere, but they got this planet! The air must be bad for us too eventually!" 
Haardgarth and his team took an ape each and beamed back to their planet. 
James woke up in a pouch. 
A comfortable pouch, hanging off of the ceiling. It was full of a liquidless slime that sucked at him and although it looked disgusting, it was very comfortable. 
His team were waking up in similar pouches around him. 
"Where are we?" asked James.  
"no idea," replied Karen, "but I have wi-fi so it can't be all bad. " 
A crash came from Karen's iPod that she had brought with her. She was the survival expert, so she would have spent many hours protecting the human team from anything that
Might have been on the planet while the rest of them examined rocks, so she had come prepared with iPod. She had been warned that if they were captured by aliens, the iPod wouldn't be the best thing to have around as an example of human technology, it was an iPod think 87G, with 100 yotabytes of storage, it was 0.01mm thick, and bulletproof. 
It was 2days out of date and had been discontinued by apple, but it still had angry birds. 
A lizard came into the room beneath them and looked up. 
It held a picture of six human-like figures going through a wormhole, but at the end of the wormhole was a weird squiggle. The lizard pointed at it with a sharp ivory claw and shrugged. 
Then the lizard drew out a screen. It was a touchscreen, similar to the human tablets. On it was a picture of a star map, but not earth stars. These were stars seen from an alien sky. 
Thomas pointed at the a constellation. 
"the north star!" he said 
"no, the north star looks like a toilet seat" said layla. "people say it's an old fashioned plough, but I always said it was a toilet seat." 
"no, their northern constellation, near the top of the map! Not ours! We're on a different planet remember! Different sky!" urged Thomas. He was holding something in. 
"yeah, so?" said James.  He was in a bad mood. He had stomach cramp and the slime in his pouch was pink. He wasn't sexist, he just didn't like pink.  
"The north facing star on this map looks like Orion!" 
Layla liked star patterns too. 
"I know Orion. He has a belt. That north star doesn't. Anyway, the two moons are in the way. They're almost eclipsing just below where the belt should be.  " 
"yes, but on a day with the full moon, like the day shown on this map, the two moons of the planet align at a certain time, bit don't eclipse fully. The bits of the moons that do overlap though, create a brownish spot between two roundish bulging things just below and overlapping onto the area where the belt should be." explained Thomas. He had a strangely straight face, that looked like it was pulling itself to stay there. 
James was beginning to get this. 
"I can see the belt a little further down though, by where his ankles should be." 
Karen and Layla started laughing. The lizard doctor showing them the map recoiled suddenly. They laughed louder. 
Doctor Carndarthle had never heard anything like it. The apes had obviously understood something, something that to them was exciting or funny. He guessed funny. The apes were shouting, probably in delight. It had shocked him at first. It was an odd noise. 
"it looks like Orion is pooing on the planet!" said Karen, extatic now. 
James wasn't getting it. A poo joke. Really? What idiots. Hanging from a pink slimy pouch in a ceiling must be getting to them. 
He groaned into his gooey bag. Proffessional, trained scientists, soldiers and survivours. 
Laughing at a poo joke. 
Scientists were meant to be boring. 
It was pretty funny though. Every night, a constellation took his daily bowel reliver all over them.  
"what has this got to do with anything though?" he asked, loudly, to shut them up. 
Just then, a group of lizard scientists came into the room, wit a machine. The lizards scaled the wall, climbing it with their hands, and stuck cables to the humans' heads. They also put a waxy substance on their lips and then attatched a hose-like thing that clamped onto their lips. 
It hurt at first, and James struggled, but the lizard scientist that had shown them the star map shook his hands at them, and looked sort of upset. James couldn't talk with the clamps on his lips, and when he opened his mouth to tell his team to let the lizards do what they were doing, the clamps stuck something in his mouth. Something large and metal. He tried to make a noise. The metal thing whirred a bit. 
One of the lizards made a noise, and walked through the cables and up the wall to change some things on James' machinery that he had just had shoved in his mouth. 
The thing moved out a bit. 
James could talk. 
"let them do what they're doing guys, I think this is some kind of experiment to do with how we speak." 
"ARE YOU CRAZeauugh," James howled as his metal thing went in his mouth so fast and far that he retched. He could feel his tonsils wobbling around. It tickled like crazy.  
James could see that the things in their mouths looked a bit like microphones. 
The lizards came around and changed all of the human's apparatus. Then they came around and clamped things to their ears that reached around to their heads. The lizard pulled tight caps over their heads, that hummed oddly. They went around to their chins, and dug slightly into their temple pressure points, but mainly shoved padded things in their ears. 
Then the lizards brought I the team that the humans had met on the other planet. The lizards all put on similar head and mouth gear. 
Then one of the scientists flicked a switch. 
Haardgarth was glad to see the apes again. They were nice, as far as he could make out, but now they would find out for real. 
The translation computer was designed to Learn the ape language fast and translate it. The plan was, according to doctor carndarthle, to have a conversation on how to get the apes back home, and possibly create an interstellar peace alliance at the same time.
Carndathle showed the apes a picture of one of them talking. 
" I think he wants us to talk," said lucy. 
The Lizard scientist was waving his arms around, as if to signify anything. 
"manure" 
"kettles" 
"paper" 
"soap" 
"he" 
"it" 
"silently" 
"deduct" 
"swim" 
"etc" 
"that do yet?" 
Carndarthle was pleased. The machine was picking up their language fast. It could tell what the words meant from monitoring brainwaves and checking the body temperature and temerature layout for mood and meaning and feel. 
The information was being fed into a droid, lying on the table. The droid was a flexible material, and had been 
designed to learn, and had the best speakers that the genonians could make, for clarity. 
Lights flashed in the droids' eyes. 
It started moving, shifting it's rubbery form around to become the shape of a fat sausage.  The lizards put similar headgear. One of the lizards grunted into his microphone.  
"h. El.lo. " said the robot. 
"Its a translator droid!" Lucy chirped excitedly. "That means that we can talk to them!" 
"hello....?" tried James.  
The lizards made noises. 
"he.llo." replied the droid. "can you understand us?" 
"yes, I think so," said James, "I'm assuming you can?" 
The droid turned it's rubber head towards the genonians and repeated what James had said in the lizard language. 
"yes, I belive we can," said Carthndale into his microphone. 
The apes cheered. 
"we are humans," explained James, "we came from the planet earth, that's there, on the map you gave us, and we came here through a wormhole projector, but we think that we crashed into a part of yours on the way to earth at about halfway, and we know that you have wormhole projectors because one of your people showed us what we assumed to be a return device on the planet we landed on, and we'd very much like to go back to our planet. We'll get our people to establish a video connection on your wi-fi if you let us go. We could have an inter-racial alliance, and become great allies!" 
He said all that very fast. The droid started repeating it about two seconds after he started, so he slowed down a bit, as it began to get confusing as to who was talking to who and what language it was in. 
The droid soon finished grunting it's translation to the lizards. 
The lizards were nodding through this, showing nothing. 
The lizards spoke a bit. The droid turned to the humans. 
"sure, good plan. Okay." 
James stared blankly at the droid. It couldn't be that easy. 
Layla cheered. William grinned.  
But then the robot started to talk again. The lizards were muttering something to it. 
"On one condition." said the robot. 
The human faces fell.  
"that condition is that you do exactly what you said you would, so you'll need to take some of these headsets and a didgital memory thing containing the translation software with you, but that goes without saying. The one condition is that you, and you alone, come back with shoe polish." 
"shoe polish?" 
"you use it on your pediatary coverings, but it is essential for our scales. Unfortunately, one of the chemicals in it we have mined from our planet until there is none left, and our scales are slowly rotting, so we desparately need it. Really, the only reason we built the wormhole gate was to boldly go where no genonian has had the opportunity to set claw, so that they could come back bearing shoe polish. " 
The lizards looked at them pleadingly. 
"will you help us?"  
Haardgarth was looking at the apes. They seemed confused. 
A scale dropped off his face, leaving a raw blue patch. It fell onto the table with the droid on it and shattered.  He winced. 
Imagine having your entire nail pulled out, leaving the bare skin underneath open to the world. If you value your nails, you can imagine that being painful. If you are a classical guitarist, this will be nothing new (for your fretboard hand anyway), but anyway, it stang like crazy, but it itched at the same time, making him want to scratch it, but he couldn't scratch it, or touch it, because it hurt so much. 
Layla looked at him pittyingly.  
"we'll help you," she said kindly. 
"we will?" asked Thomas. 
Karen looked up from her iPod. 
"yes we b100dy well will!" she shouted, defencively. 
The robot transferred this to the lizards. They eyed Thomas questioningly. Haardgarth gingerly prodded his blue skin, whimpering pathetically. 
Thomas backtracked fast. 
"Of course we will, yeesss, we will, but I don't know how our government will react, we need that shoe polish y'know!" 
"Yes Thomas," said Karen, "but we don't mine for our shoe polish ingredients, we make them, we have pretty much as much as we want or need and we don't actually use shoe polish much anymore. Everyone these days uses cloth trainers or rubber, or something else, even plastic, but hardly leather anymore." 
"I do." 
"you posh t0ff. Only evil people use leather shoes like lawyers, or buisnessmen. They kill cute little cows for it." 
Karen had grown up in the lake district in England. She liked cows, and had never really worn leather for anything as it was very impractical due to the traditional Cumbrian weather. 
Layla sighed. 
"we'll go back with stuff to let us communicate with you, and ask our governments about a few billion tons of shoe polish. We're a socialistic, altruistic and democratic society. The shoe companies will be happy to give us loads. Hopefully. We'll even show you how to make your own without mining for it." 
The lizards nodded. 
Doctor Carthndale pressed a button. The coverings slid off the pouches the humans were in. The pink slime dribbled off the ceiling with the humans in it. 
James wobbled a bit as he relearnt to stand up. Haardgarth helped him unclip his headgear. 
"we'll get you set to leave," carthndale told them, "but if you break your promises, we will come down on your world like a stadium full of sumo wrestlers after a pie and booze party."
"We didn't promise anything," James told them. "the only promise we did make was that we'd try and see what we could do. If we can't, we won't come back bearing shoe polish, if we can, we might. " 
Carthndale nodded. 
"if you don't come back, we'll send a party to your world to ask your governments personally. " 
"sure, whatever, we'll be off. I must congratulate you on your translator droid- a great achievement to say the least!"  
"thank you James is it?" 
"yep. James. " 
"well, goodbye, and see what you can do, otherwise we'll come down, like i said, and pillage all your baskets." 
"Err, excuse me? Baskets?" 
"yes, pillage your Baskets. " 
"riiiight. Baskets. Sure 
"and destroy your sausages. " 
"uh huh. Pillage our Baskets and destroy our sausages ." 
"precisely. Then you will have nowhere to live and nothing to eat." 
"I think I might take back what I said about that droid being amazing, it was up until a minute ago. We don't live in baskets, and we eat more than just sausages." 
"your hanging baskets." the droid said urgently, translating for the doctor. "we will pillage them, and then we will destroy your sausages." 
James was beginning to feel uncomfortable. 
The doctor noticed this. 
"your homes. They hang from the sky do they not?" 
"our airstates do, yeah, sure. We made them because there wasn't enough space for all the people to live on the surface of our planets." 
Airstates were large round cities that hung from massive hovercrafts in the sky. They were made up of loads of interwoven walkways. 
"your airstates-baskets- hanging baskets." 
"ooohhhh. Riight. Hanging baskets- airstates. Riiight. I get it now. What about sausages? Describe them to me. How are they used, and how do you know all this anyway?" 
"your friend. Her device. We hacked it." 
"that was by apple. You can't hack apple!" 
"it was easy enough. The apple was bitten into." 
" I don't get that, but what do you mean by sausages?" 
"your children suck and mould them." 
James was feeling really odd now. 
"Are you sure this is the same planet?" he asked. 
"yes. I am sure. On your planet, your children mould this stuff to make things, for fun? Right?" 
"playdough. Yes." 
"yes, well this played dough, your children make sausage shapes from it right?" 
"yeah. Sometimes." 
"then they eat it." 
"it's a disgusting and vile habit, but yeah, I guess they do. Sure." 
"if we destroy that, your children will not play, or eat, or mould, and they will not learn. Then you will fall. If your children cannot learn and you have nowhere to live, you won't have much to lose." 
The doctor was impatient now. 
"okay, okay," James reassured him. "if we don't bring you shoe polish, you'll loot our cities and destroy all our playdough. Fine. We'd better get the shoe polish then." 

Just then Layla called from the event horizon of the open wormhole. 
"sir, we're going, come on. You need to go first, you have to tell the government and report back." 
James waved to carthdale. Carthndale looked confused. 
"it's a form of human greeting!" 
Carthndale nodded, lifted a claw and waved it, delicately. 
James turned to the wormhole. 
Once again it stood before him. 
He poked in a toe and breathed out. Then he let it engulf him, and pull him right in....... 

What happened next:
----------------------
James told the government of the genonian crisis, and of how they would loot the humans' hanging baskets and destroy all their sausages if they didn't help. 

The government responded instantly, and all the unrealistically altruistic shoe polish companies made billions of tons out of sheer charitable donation and generosity for genonia.  

The two great governments met and talked about the weather. Then they formed a great alliance that lasted a few billion years and strode the stars into greatness. 

Layla moved to genonia permenantly to study astronomy and how stars positions change from planet to planet. 

Karen got a new iPod think. 
Three days later, she got another one. 

Three days after that, she got another one again. 


Three days after that, she ran out of patience, declared a court case against apple, won it, and suddenly there was world peace. 
She became famed as the best thing in the world of technology since the Linux penguin went gothic (2300 AD). 

Thomas carried on his own sad life and started collecting warhammer. 
That made him infinitely sadder, but at least he was happy. 

Dr carthndale was relived that he never had to go looting any hanging baskets. He was afraid of heights. 

And last but not least, haardgarth carried on the exploration of space via the wormholes, and did more than all the rest put together.  
He even terraformed the lands beyond their own supercluster of galaxies, and stopped them resembling pe teachers. 
The pe teachers skulls flourished as the planets went off mindless football lessons after a nasty injury, and went on to become English teachers who never set homework. 
The planets didn't actually do that, they just became nicer places, but it was like the sports teacher gone friendly story because it had a happy ending, and similar imagery.  

In all, the Universe became nicer after that day. Unfortunatley, this hasn't actually happened yet in real life, so there's no point getting hopeful. Just wait though. 
Get your shoe polish ready. 


smile  like it?  smile  (-0<
 




    
 
  
          

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#192 2013-04-18 17:57:36

Nomolos
Scratcher
Registered: 2011-07-29
Posts: 1000+

Re: Write to DEATH - A challenging competition for avid writers

^^Alright! Awesome job! A few misspellings could be fixed, some fragments, and a bit more description and detail, but that story is really good!  big_smile


Goodbye 1.4. I'll always remember you and treasure your awesomeness in my heart.
RIP 1.4: 2007-2013 *Sniffles* *Sobs* *Bursts into tears*

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#193 2013-04-18 18:15:04

Detriment
New Scratcher
Registered: 2013-04-18
Posts: 10

Re: Write to DEATH - A challenging competition for avid writers

Nomolos wrote:

^^Alright! Awesome job! A few misspellings could be fixed, some fragments, and a bit more description and detail, but that story is really good!  big_smile

Fragments in a story could be there for style, and it looks like that is what the fragments are for in the provided excerpt.

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#194 2013-04-19 01:47:42

Waffle27
Scratcher
Registered: 2012-03-21
Posts: 1000+

Re: Write to DEATH - A challenging competition for avid writers

OK, I'll put mine in one really long post as well. (Mine came out as 5, 305 words altogether) By the way, I know its confusing and I'm sorry, but SciFi isn't exactly my forte.  The story is titled The SpacebugAnyway, I'll put it in this next post here:

Last edited by Waffle27 (2013-04-19 01:50:12)

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#195 2013-04-19 01:48:55

Waffle27
Scratcher
Registered: 2012-03-21
Posts: 1000+

Re: Write to DEATH - A challenging competition for avid writers

Pulling, twisting, shrinking, stretching, pushing, and forming. My body is compacted, yet it is growing to twice its size. Three times what it should be. I can’t move, but I can’t stop moving. Loud noise, a rushing sound, blocks my ears, but at the same time I can hear nothing at all. Everything counters anything, and I can’t see anything but black, and pinpricks of light that look like stars. But that is wrong. There is no light where it’s dark; there are no stars where it is broken.
    All of a sudden, my head hits the nothingness at the end of the tunnel. All my senses knock loose, and I forget who I am, what I am. I can’t see, I can’t hear, feel, smell, or taste. All I can do is pull, twist, shrink, stretch, push, form, and move. And then I lose even that.

    TWO DAYS EARLIER…

    “Impossible,” mutters Jude, but she is lying again. Just a year before, she would have said it was impossible to hold an entire alien planet prisoner. Two years before she would have said it was impossible to find any other life forms in neighboring galaxies. If she had said that, and I am sure she did, she would have been wrong.
    “No it’s not,” replies Mordecai, echoing my thoughts. The half human has various parts replaced by robot pieces. His arm, hands, both of his legs, one eye, an ear, his nose, feet, heart. At first, seeing his new body made me cry.  Now, seeing him human again would almost be worse.
    He checks his wrist, where tiny red dots run up and down his arm, programmed so that each represents one of the alien race. The blue dot represents the ships of our crew. The green dot represents us, while the big black dot is for the Planet. When I first heard the key, it was confusing, but after the first day it got less so.
    “In fact,” Mordecai continues. “It’s entirely probable. A year has passed peacefully. Personally, I think it’s the right time for them to rebel.”
    Jude brings Mordecai’s arm closer, so she can see it. “The aliens are nearing the barrier. If they break it, we’re burnt toast.”
    “Then we can’t let them break it.” Mordecai overturns his hand, exposing metal fingers. On his palm, the little green dot, us, resides in relaxation.  Pressing his steel finger on the dot, he slowly moves it across his hand, towards the direction of the black dot, and the violet barrier surrounding it.
    For three weeks, we have remained stationary, filing reports to the other ships in our crew.  For weeks, we hadn’t moved an inch. I had nearly forgotten the sensation of flying with no steering wheel. Nearly, but not quite.
    Stomach lurching, I hurdled forward at the sudden burst of speed. Faster than the speed of sound, the sensation lasts only a minute before we are hovering in front of the barrier, with the other spaceships. Jude brings out her calling device. She brings it to her lips and speaks into it.
    “A42, have you got the right side? Have you got the right side? Over.” For a while, my father doesn’t respond. Then the captain of the 42nd ship crackles in from the speaker.
    “No. The right side is open. Grab the right side, 72. Over.”
    Mordecai, overhearing the conversation, is already flicking the green dot over to the right side of the barrier. We lurch again, and this time I almost lose my lunch. I am out of shape. That’s what a little vacation does to you.
    “Are you okay?” I am surprised at Mordecai’s concern. Usually neither of them bothers with me. Especially not after my mistake.
    “Yeah,” I say nothing more, but look away out the window.
Space is more beautiful than the sky at home. It is more gorgeous than the rolling waves of the sea, or the dark gaze of a shy deer. Instead, it has alternate planets, covered with awkward blends of irrational color schemes. It has stars, brighter than any flashlight, and stories more plentiful than the biggest library. And now all this is my home. I live here, and I know that someday, perhaps soon, I shall die here.
Jude rolls her eyes at me when she thinks I can’t see her. Mordecai shrugs and mocks me looking out the window. I gulp loudly, trying to fight back tears. They didn’t used to be like this, not before the argument. I know what I did was wrong, and could’ve gotten us all killed, but it was worth it. For a little while at least.
“Besides,” I mumble out loud. Neither of them hears me, neither of them listens. “That was months ago.” The image of a creature, so small it could fit in the palm of my hand, seems to tauntingly dance outside my window. A laughing face, and then a metal arm and a violet barrier. My mind reels back, rejecting the memory.
“72 has caught the right side, over.” Jude reports. She shudders. “They sure are ugly fellows aren’t they?” Somehow, I sense she isn’t talking to me.
The aliens have their noses pressed against the barrier; many are slamming their sides into the obstacle. 
Mordecai looks up, and nods absently before returning to his arm. Eyebrows knit together, he is trying and failing not to show concern. “The barrier will break eventually with all that pressure.”
“How do we relieve the pressure?” Jude asks delicately. We both know and dislike where this is going.
“We have to attack them, divert them from the barrier.” Mordecai responds. “But obviously we can’t attack them from this side so…”
I inwardly groan, but make no sign to show him he has won. “We have to go in.” Jude says. “Again.” She adds, glaring at me.
“Yeah, right.” I mutter. “Because my dad would let us after last time.”
“Who said us?”
My heart stops. I must have misheard. “You can’t kick me off the ship. That would kill me. I—I have nowhere else but here.”
“Don’t worry,” Mordecai interrupts hurriedly. “I’m sure your father would take you in if it came to that.”
“I trust it won’t,” my old commander instincts kick in for just a moment, and it’s me against them.
“You aren’t commander of this vessel anymore.” Jude whispers to me. “I am. And when I say it comes to that, it does. This is not up to you. You lost your privileges after the disaster. We all lost everything because of you. You deserve to die. You’re just dead weight.”
I stare at her for a while, unwilling to give in, to show her how much her words hurt. “You deserve to die…You’re just dead weight”
    “Jude!” Even Mordecai is shocked. He turns to me. “That’s not true, don’t listen to her. She’s just…”
    I ignore him, we both do. All we can do is glare now. My teeth are clenched, as are my fists. I will fight. If it comes to that.
    “I’m sorry,” I say finally. “About Mordecai and about Grass. Mumbin meant the world to me, and I can’t believe how many lives were lost, how many people I killed. I’m sorry.”
    “You only knew Mumbin for three and a half minutes. Grass was my sister, and you killed her.”
    “It was longer than three minutes, it was two centuries.” It is true. Mumbin, when he lead me to the portal…
   
`Another memory approaches, but instead of the rapid flashes, it’s like a freight train, marching along the tracks. Slowly, at the edge of my vision a girl appears, following a creature flitting through the sky. The girl, me, taps Jude on the shoulder. “I’m going to follow it.” It is heading towards a portal.
    “Why?” It is Grass, arisen from the dead. “It is just a portal, it won’t die.”
    But the vessel is swerving. The creature is flying away; I can’t catch up to it. Pushing the vessel harder, I hear a threatening pop. The air supply.
    “Go fix it.” Mordecai’s hand, free of metal and fully skin, rests on my shoulder. “Without the air supply, we are dead.”
    “You are not the boss of me.” I push the vehicle harder, until it strains. Finally, the entire oxygen tank explodes, bringing out the engine. We hurtle down, down, down.
    Right as we are about to die, we land on hard, crusty ground. I get up and look around at my unconscious fellows. Jude and I appear to be the only ones without injury. Grass seems to have a broken arm, and Mordecai’s entire hand is gone. I cover my mouth with my hand, horrified.
    “Way to go, loser.” Jude says. “You’re lucky we landed where we did. One of these days you’ll get us all killed.”

The memory pauses, and I rip my glare from Jude’s. “I miss Grass too. Unlike you, Grass was my friend.”
    “That won’t bring her back,” Jude growls. Turning to Mordecai, she asks, “Do you see any broken points in the barrier? Somewhere we can sneak through?”
    Mordecai examines the violet barrier on his arm.  Using his finger, he taps it once quickly, bringing up a holographic image. Squinting, I lean in to search for any miniscule holes. It is Jude who finds one first.
    “There!” she points to a microscopic hole near the bottom. “That looks big enough for the ship to enter!”
    “This time,” I warn them, “This time it’s your fault if someone dies. This time you can’t blame it on me.”
    “This time,” Jude snarls, “We will succeed. This time no one will die because of a stupid DREAM!”
    I just turn away, ignoring her. “Mordecai, slip into the opening.” Jude says.   “We’re going to stop this rebellion once and for all.”
    Nodding solemnly, Mordecai closes the hologram and moves the green dot into the small, small opening. At first when we soar towards the hole, I can’t see it and I expect us to crash. Bracing myself for impact, I try to remember back to the good old days when the ships could get through, but the aliens could not. I try not to remember why they changed it.
    “A72!” the radio fizzes, “Get away from the barrier! A72!” Jude ignores her radio, and stares straight ahead. Tears decorate her eyes. Just like I do, she remembers the day her sister died…

    “We’re stranded on an alien planet,” Jude says irritably. “And let me note that these aren’t particularly friendly aliens.”
    Grass groans, and lifts herself to her feet. “What was that?” she asks me. “It was just a Spacebug, nothing big!”
    “I know,” I whisper, still in shock. Mordecai’s hand is lying at my feet.  “I know it was just a Spacebug.”
    “Then why’d you go after it, stupid?” Jude challenges. “Look, just look, what you did to Mordecai!”
    “I-I’m…” I stammer.
    “No one wants you here!” growls Jude. “Go away! Never come back!” I try; I try so hard to take her advice. For days I try to find the Bug, the one I felt a special connection to, but somehow I know I won’t find him.
    “He must have made it through the portal,” I say out loud one day, resting under an Aphum Tree. Mom would’ve loved the tree, it’s long, flexible branches, and it’s shiny, fake-looking flower buds. Even the fruit seem pretty. I take an Aphum fruit, and peel the skin before eating it. It cleanses my mouth of previous tastes. The only thing I can compare it to is the tasteless smoothness of water.
    Soon, I began to hear a slight buzzing noise. Looking up from my Aphum fruit, I saw the Spacebug from earlier hovering above my head. Laughing, I got to my feet as it seemed to almost beckon me to follow it.
    “Where are you going?” I giggled, trying to catch it in my hands. “Do you know how much trouble you have cost me?” As expected, my new friend did not respond. Instead, it spun a loop-the-loop, and whizzed faster. Chasing it, I halted and gasped. So this was where it had been leading me. A portal.

    The memory dies down as our ship soars cleanly through the hole.  At first I think we made it safely through, but then I hear Jude curse. Gazing out the window, I see a gigantic shape above us. An alien. His tentacles have powerfully captured the ship, and even Mordecai, desperately moving the dot on his arm, can’t get us to go an inch forward.
    “Gosh darn! Move move move!” Jude cries, slamming her fist on the manual controls.  Somehow, I don’t think that will help. 
    Loud and echoing, the alien lets out a deep, thunderous cry.  Mordecai turns a knob inserted in the place of his ear lobe and listens for a while. He translates. “Come, Leicon, king. We have prisoners, we have prey.”
Jude stops banging. “That doesn’t sound good,” she says.
“For the record,” I say hastily. “This wasn’t my fault this time.”
“No offense, but we have a bigger problem than your honor,” Mordecai tells me as the alien uses its tentacles like a jellyfish to propel itself gently upwards.
    That’s what he said last time. And last time more than one person died. I keep my gaze steadily ahead, not turning to look at anyone or anything. This time I will not follow a Spacebug to the very pits of time. This time I will not live, my heart will die.
    All too soon, we bump to a landing. The planet. I lift my head from my hands, and gaze upon the sight before me. This, of all places, is one I have never traveled to. The alien king’s castle. The dwelling of Leicon.
    Silver pillars rise into the skies, touching stars with their crystal-topped arms. The entryway was big enough to fit two of the gargantuan aliens through its door. Overall, it was inspiring.
    We float through the entrance, Jude still trying desperately to contact my father. I doubt he can hear us. Even if he could, he wouldn’t come. Not to save me. Not after I killed Grass, and…and my mother.
    There is no door, only a gaping black hole where our captor enters. Apparently, the domed hallway directly after it is a sort of Great Hall, where two soldiers march back and forth. Along the sides are heads. Heads of an assortment of creatures. A toothless shark with no dorsal fin, and ears like a humans, a deformed hippo’s head with a slack jaw and blood red skin, a Spacebug’s head (my throat constricts, but I look away, hoping not to recognize it) and even a human head. All of these are obviously new decorations, and I recognize them from my mistake. My mistake is what led to these decapitations. I should have never unlocked that gate, never gone inside that portal, never listened to Jude, much less take her advice!  My stomach twists, I think I barf, but it’s too soon to know. It is too late to find out.
    “Ouch!” Jude cries, her head slamming against the controls. We have lurched forward, and I have stayed back, rooted to the spot with horror. With hatred of myself. Curiosity has killed more than the cat.
    “Leicon, my king, prisoners for you, more heads for your hall,” It takes me a moment to realize Mordecai is translating long, echoing barks. Leicon. I look up with rage at the king. He doesn’t remember me, how could he?
    “Prisoners,” it is seemingly the king himself that Mordecai is now translating. He grimaces as he looks us over. “Ugly prisoners. They will die in the morning.”
    I let out a small groan. No. No! Not after all this! Not after everything! How can I die now? I let my head droop past my shoulders and I slump into my chair, defeated. What use is it, living? All I ever do is make mistakes.
    I scream as the floor drops beneath us and we fall to the cold, hard stone floor. Cracked tiles have yellow and brown gunk between them, and the wall had fractures   hosting spiders and termites. It was not the best location to spend your final night.
    Jude and Mordecai turn onto their sides, crying. I know I should be crying too. Instead, I accept my fate. There is nothing I can do about it. So, I close my eyes and dream. And when I dream, I remember.
   
    It was near the end of my Spacebug’s and mine travels. We were sitting beneath a tree, somewhere in the future, or maybe the past. It was hard to tell during our adventures, seeing as we never stayed in one place for more than a week. For some reason, I still hadn’t forgotten Jude, Mordecai, Grass, my father…they were still fresh in my mind, though I told them not to be. 
    It was that day when they came. Hoards of them. They took us by surprise, the rogue aliens. I didn’t think there were any on this planet. This planet. Where was this planet exactly? I should have paid more attention.
    “Run!” I pushed my Spacebug in front of me, dodging as a net came close to my head, knowing what would happen if they caught me. It is too late. Instead of falling on me, the net lands on my Spacebug. Crying out, I grapple with the net, attempt to lift it over the Spacebug, and release him from this trap.
    The rogues speak with slurred, unintelligible words. I can only make out clips and bits of his speech. “We have trapped…Free gate…offering…if all goes well…dead.” I push him back, screaming. “NO!”
    Helpfully, a net falls on me too. I should have seen that coming. My fingers get caught on some sticky glue as I try to lift it above my head. The net drops back down as I stare at the opaque liquid. Gooey, squishy, and overall sticky, I wonder why they didn’t put this on the Spacebug’s net. I have bigger worries than the Spacebug. I’m trapped! That last phrase didn’t sound promising, and I struggle even more desperately. That’s when I remember the item I picked up near the beginning of our adventures. I had stolen it, of course, like I did and still do. Finally, something helpful to use it on! My hand reaches into my pocket.
    I draw out a laser! Shining it in my kidnapper’s eyes, he drops my net, allowing me to escape. I turn to release my friend, but the rogues are already running off. I have to track them down, find my Spacebug, and rescue him, before the rogues find out about his secret trait! With no other choice, I tuck the laser in my back pocket and run after my friend.   
    I have not been running long when I have the sudden urge to rest. My limbs move slower, my eyes begin to close, my mind loses what little consciousness it has…
    Wait, I think, I know this trick. There must be a Sleeping Blossom somewhere. It’s risky, but it might come in handy. Just three miles ahead of me are the rogues, and my beloved Spacebug who cries to me for a rescue mission. Yes, risky but worth my time. I hold my breath and drop to my knees, my fingers searching for the unique texture of a Sleeping Blossom’s stem. Red petals, hairy leaves, sandy stem. Piece of cake. If only I could hold my breath longer. Black spots dance near the edge of my vision. Sleep and exhaustion are getting to me. I don’t remember taking a breath, but I must have. I must…have…
    Another wail from the Spacebug jolts me wide awake. My fingers form around a sandy stem. Yes. I have it. I have it! Gasping, I shoot to my feet, and begin running again all in one motion. I can’t stop now. Now that I am so close to my destination, my feet pedal faster. The Sleeping Blossom threatens to send me to sleep, and it almost does. It would have too, if the rogues had been any farther away. Luckily, I make it just in time to toss the flower gently into the center of their party when they aren’t looking. All six of them are asleep before you could say “Piece of cake.” The aliens must be weaker than us human. That’s the only reason that we have survived so long.
    Shushing my Spacebug friend, I finally have the chance to release him. And oh, what a happy reunion! I almost shut for joy, but I contain my happiness. If I woke the aliens, it would cause pandemonium. Worse still, my efforts would be for nothing. Silently, we celebrate our victory.
    “Draw us a portal,” I whisper. “A portal home. That was too close. I’m tired of running. Let’s just go home.” Time to get out of here! And that, that sentence right there, was the mistake that changed everyone’s lives forever.

    I wake with a start. Glancing around, I notice that Mordecai and Jude are still sleeping. We will all die in the morning, and we all recognize our fates. The problem is, will we accept them? There’s no way past them. There can’t be.
    Then I realize why that memory, out of all my memories, came to me. Sure, it was reminding me of my biggest blunder before I perished. But it was also telling me how to escape.
    My hand goes to my back pocket.

    My Spacebug obeys, and I watch in awe, as I do every time. Somehow, it has a special trait I’ve never seen in a Spacebug before. It’s able to conjure portals to anywhere in midair. That’s why I felt so drawn to this bug in particular. It is special. Just like me.

    After all these years…I almost laugh, but at the same time I choke back tears. After all these years! I take out the laser and cherish it in my hand like it’s the last weapon. In a way, for me, it is.
    With shaky hands, I burn a hole in the wall, just big enough for me to fit through. On my hands and knees, I scuttle to the other side, another jail cell. At first, I am relieved, and I turn to bid Mordecai and Jude through, but then I feel a greasy arm on my shoulder.
    This cell is not empty.

    I underestimated the aliens. After just ten minutes, they wake up.  A net comes down by my ear. I back up. Through the portal, I remember. Time to go home.  “Come on!” I yell as the net falls past me again. “Move!” I fall through the portal and my Spacebug falls with me to the other side.

    Slowly, I turn around. After unsuccessfully asking what the creature is doing here, I press my lips together in a tight line. My mouth is dry; my tongue feels like a fish out of water. I gulp and try again. “Who…?”
    “I am the other prisoner, Daught.” growls the alien. “They caught me this morning.”
    “Oh.” What else is there to say?
    “I see your shiny weapon.” Daught says.  “I see how it can burn and melt. Take me with you to freedom and I will give you a reward.” He speaks English with a slow, tentative tongue.
    “What sort of reward?” I ask suspiciously. “What could you possibly give me?”
    “A prisoner, one I think you know well.”
    A prisoner. Could it be? Yes, it has to be! Who else would I care so much about?  “Fine.” I say. “Just let me get my colleagues and we’ll be off.” I am careful not to use the term “friends”.
    “No.” Daught says.  “Don’t bring your friends. We will travel by ourselves. Two more would be too many to look out for.”
    I bite my lip, remembering how I killed Grass and destroyed Mordecai’s human form. How can I leave them there, to die in the morning? I glance back at Mordecai and Jude. They are my—no. They are not my friends. I can leave them. I turn to Daught. “Then let’s go.”

    That wasn’t the smartest idea. The smartest idea would have been to save my friends (at that time, we were, in a sense, friends) and lead my foes around their planet. Or maybe even find a bouquet of Sleeping Blossoms. Instead, I freak out and catapult through the portal, saving only myself.
    I land where I began, underneath the tree, on the planet where I crashed. Behind me, I hear a grumble as rogue aliens pick themselves up off the floor. I brought them here with me. The rogue aliens came here with me.

    It takes about two hours to melt a hole in each cell wall. Every cell is uninhabited until we reach the final cubicle. Inside it is a great alien with tentacles ten times as long as my arms.  Each has the thickness of a surfboard. Luckily he appears to be sleeping and Daught and I slip past easily.
    Until I step on one of the long, flimsy arms. Oh, *. That’s all I can think when the alien opens one dark red eye. He growls, and his eyeball shifts toward my feet. I carefully step off, smiling in that idiotic way you smile when you know the school bully is going to beat you to a pulp. Apparently, my dumb old smile isn’t enough of an apology. The alien swings an arm, smacking me straight in the face and flinging me backwards twenty feet.
    “Yowch!” I yelp, and before I can get to my feet, he smacks me with another arm, keeping me on the floor.
    “Hey, throw the laser!”
    Well, at least someone is thinking. I fumble with the laser, and weakly toss it in Daught’s direction. It lands two inches short and clatters loudly. The alien whips around at the noise, and Daught ducks down and picks up the laser. He burns a hole through, just big enough for himself. “Daught, wait!” I cry out. I need my prize. He promised me.
    But it is too late. He’s gone. He has my laser, my only weapon, and left. He didn’t even give me back my Spacebug, from so long ago. I still yearn for our adventures, our adventures that we had before the rogue aliens and my selfishness.

    “Well.” That’s all I say. I can’t say more, can’t command Spacebug to create a portal. The only thing I seem capable of doing is staring at my enemies. And then I run.
    “Jude! Grass! Get Mordecai! Get OUT!” It’s too late though. They confront me from all sides. Some chase down my friends. I hear a scream and look over. It’s Mordecai. What are they doing to him? I hear Jude call for back up.  I see a net close around my Spacebug. I hear myself shout out as I reach for my pet, my one friend. I hear but I don’t feel. I see but do not process.
    My head is knocked by a passing net. My vision turns black. I catch images in my last glance of my mistake. I see a ship land, and I see my mother stand in front of my body. I see her sob, take me for dead. I watch an alien come from behind her, weapon raised. I see the alien. For the first time, I see the alien. And the alien is Daught.

    My head is slammed against the wall as I am pushed again by the giant flipper like arm. I see Daught return with an alien guard, smirking at his cleverness. Groaning, I watch two other guards come from behind him. One for me, one for Jude, one for Mordecai. And then, just like in my memory, just like my first mistake, my vision turns black.

    When I come to, I am lying outside, on a transparent roof with the galaxy beneath me. Next to me, Jude and Mordecai are sitting upright. Unsurprisingly, Jude is glaring at me. How is it always my mistake that leads to death?
    At first, I wonder where I am. Then I remember. The killing chamber. We are going to die. From the corner, Daught is still smirking, looking so proud. The aliens don’t kill him. He’s the one who caught me escaping. He is one of them now.
    Daught. Daught. My Spacebug! I crawl over when they aren’t looking. My Spacebug is in a net in Daught’s hands. Leaping to my feet, I knock my friend out of the net quickly, but Daught notices. He zaps the laser, and I duck my head. It fires behind me. I hear Jude yell out and I turn.
    No. No! “Mordecai!” I scream. There’s a chance. There is a chance he is still alive. No, there isn’t. The hole through his brain is still steaming.
    Before Jude, before anyone can hurt me, I run. I run, I run, and I run. I run as fast as I can. The ground is transparent. Unknowingly, I run right off the edge of the roof.
    My mouth opens, moves, forms. My arms flail in the air, and I struggle but succeed in turning around, and my fingers skim the edge before I drop. Before I die.
To my surprise, a hand catches my flailing hand. Jude. In her other hand, she grasps my Spacebug, who I threw in the air. My intent was to keep him safe. Somehow, I know he will be safe with Jude.
Jude looks at me, and behind her, a laser beam barely misses her head. Cursing, then another misfire.
“Don’t.” I say. I know she understands. But for the first time, she doesn’t want me to die.
“No one’s around, you would die.” It’s true, looking beneath me, far down, I can see a moving mass of darkness. A black hole. It is tugging me in, and her too. The roof is safe, built of alien matter that keeps it steady.
“That’s the point.”
“I don’t get it,” Jude whispers. “You want to die.”
“You can escape, with the Spacebug. Ask him to make you a portal and you can leave.”
“Can’t you come with me?”
“I, I don’t want to.” I choke out. “I would just kill you, and maybe one day my Spacebug.”
“Please.” Jude’s eyes are filled with a friendship she never shared. In that moment, I see in her eyes forgiveness, hope, and an apology.
“No,” I smile slightly at the irony of the situation. I don’t want to live any longer. All I cause is death. “After all, I’m just dead weight.”
At the same time, Jude and I let go.
And I fall.
Pulling, twisting, shrinking, stretching, pushing, and forming. My body is compacted, yet it is growing to twice its size. Three times what it should be. I can’t move, but I can’t stop moving. Loud noise, a rushing sound, blocks my ears, but at the same time I can hear nothing at all. Everything counters anything, and I can’t see anything but black, and pinpricks of light that look like stars. But that is wrong. There is no light where it’s dark; there are no stars where it is broken.
    All of a sudden, my head hits the nothingness at the end of the tunnel. All my senses knock loose, and I forget who I am, what I am. I can’t see, I can’t hear, feel, smell, or taste. All I can do is pull, twist, shrink, stretch, push, form, and move. And then I lose even that.

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#196 2013-04-19 07:11:07

Lightningstep36
Scratcher
Registered: 2011-05-21
Posts: 53

Re: Write to DEATH - A challenging competition for avid writers

Guys, as much as I would like to be a part of this round, I found out that I really don't have the time to write this at the moment and should probably drop out. Maybe I'll join a later round when I have more time. Is that all right?

I also already have several writing projects of my own at the time, and it makes it difficult to add on more to do.

Last edited by Lightningstep36 (2013-04-19 07:13:10)

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#197 2013-04-19 10:53:14

Nomolos
Scratcher
Registered: 2011-07-29
Posts: 1000+

Re: Write to DEATH - A challenging competition for avid writers

Lightningstep36 wrote:

Guys, as much as I would like to be a part of this round, I found out that I really don't have the time to write this at the moment and should probably drop out. Maybe I'll join a later round when I have more time. Is that all right?

I also already have several writing projects of my own at the time, and it makes it difficult to add on more to do.

Sure thing lightning!  smile

Last edited by Nomolos (2013-04-19 10:53:24)


Goodbye 1.4. I'll always remember you and treasure your awesomeness in my heart.
RIP 1.4: 2007-2013 *Sniffles* *Sobs* *Bursts into tears*

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#198 2013-04-19 17:14:02

pinnipediator
Scratcher
Registered: 2012-02-10
Posts: 500+

Re: Write to DEATH - A challenging competition for avid writers

Loving that waffle, but I'm not a judge so no one cares about my opinion.
Hey- on the terms of fragment, it's called effect. Fragment is pointless and limiting and never has been otherwise in my opinion. Just because a story isn't a poem doesn't mean you can't use poetic license in it.
And spelling mistakes i can blame on my iPod.
* I thought I thoroughly checked it. >:{[

Oh well.  hmm   smile

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#199 2013-04-19 17:32:45

Nomolos
Scratcher
Registered: 2011-07-29
Posts: 1000+

Re: Write to DEATH - A challenging competition for avid writers

Awesome story Waffle, can't wait for the rest!


Goodbye 1.4. I'll always remember you and treasure your awesomeness in my heart.
RIP 1.4: 2007-2013 *Sniffles* *Sobs* *Bursts into tears*

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#200 2013-04-19 17:51:39

lundfamily3
Scratcher
Registered: 2011-09-08
Posts: 500+

Re: Write to DEATH - A challenging competition for avid writers

pinnipediator wrote:

Loving that waffle, but I'm not a judge so no one cares about my opinion.
Hey- on the terms of fragment, it's called effect. Fragment is pointless and limiting and never has been otherwise in my opinion. Just because a story isn't a poem doesn't mean you can't use poetic license in it.
And spelling mistakes i can blame on my iPod.
* I thought I thoroughly checked it. >:{[

Oh well.  hmm   smile

But when you have to many fragments where people aren't talking, it gets annoying, and makes you want to stop reading. O.o


http://i50.tinypic.com/zn102h.jpg

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